CARL AND ME

i watched the kennedy center honors last night.. amongst others they honored the man who makes me laugh more than anyone else on this planet, mel brooks.. just saying his name brings a smile to my face.

the sad part for me was seeing how old he looked and is..he was introduced by another of my comedic heros, carl reiner who is 88 and looks maybe 85 1/2 tops.

now follow this carefully.. i've always had a crush on carl and knew he was happily married. i also knew his wife was 7 years older than he was and would statistically pass away before carl. so in my imagination (which is very fertile) i decided if this were to happen, that carl and i would date and get married.

well sadly for carl, his wife did pass away last year at the age of 94.. they had been married for 60 some odd years and i understand it was a wonderful union.

so i tell a girlfriend of mine about this crush that i had and she happens to be friends with carls wifes nephew who also is jerry seinfelds manager.. got that?

much to my chagrin and amusement, my friend tells seinfelds manager about me and he says, i'm sure carl would love to meet her. she of course described how magnetic and charming and smart and funny i am .(ok maybe not all the above but some of it). so my friend decides to make a date for us to meet. the problem is i live in florida and carl in los angeles! but all is not lost.. my daughter lives in california and i'll be visiting her in march. problem solved............. NOT SO FAST !

so i begin thinking about this and decide this might not be good.. after all he has three grown children and grandchildren and if we get serious, the kids will think i'm after his money. so i make up a story in my head (fertile imagination again) that i meet his kids and reassure them that i'm not anna nicolle smith and i have no interest in his wealth. i then tell them that i will sign a pre-dating paper that states, should something happen to him that i have no rights to any of his money or personal belongings. then the issue arises (in my fertile mind) that they won't want me in their mothers home and they dont want him to sell the house. so i suggest that carl and i buy a house in malibu and never use carls marital home. rob reiner, carls son becomes incensed and says, who the hell is gonna pay for that house in malibu? i say to rob, your father will buy the home in the siblings name. rob then says, my father and mother lived in that house in beverly hills for 40 years and i'll be damned if my father is gonna buy a house in malibu with some tramp.

in my mind, this is not going well at all. so i say to carl, lets elope and screw the kids and we do.

this is all before i've had a cup of coffee with him..

i love having a fertile imagination and hope you all write a story for yourself like this. i'm having so much fun with it.

be back soon