i had a dream... me and martin luther king..
my dream was to have a wonderful time coming back from maui..WRONG.
i came home to find i need dental surgery again and have to have a new permanent bridge made.. i never get used to this but i'm always grateful to my dentist, dr. saul pressner. a king amongst human beings.
and then yesterday, a brand new experience for me.. let me just tell you, i've always had a fear of fire.. when i lived in a private house, i had a fireplace. i never went to sleep until that fire was burned out.. if it wasn't, i threw water into the fireplace which pissed off my family. i unplug everything in my house before i go to sleep. fire is always on my mind.
yesterday i decided to broil some chicken and i went to preheat my oven.. i never preheat my oven but did yesterday. what i forgot was i had aluminum pans in there with plastic wrappings.. need i say more? after 2 minutes of preheating, i heard fire alarms go off. i figured it was another false alarm in the building. i waited about a minute before i left my bedroom and saw black smoke in my living room and foyer and i ran to my kitchen.. flames were coming out of my stove and i was able to shut the stove off , remove the aluminum pans and opened all my doors and windows. the security squad in my building was here in a flash and went holy shit.! not what one wants to hear.. my stove, microwave and a cabinet above the microwave were all melted.. YES,MELTED.
what amazes me is i was as cool as a cucumber and did everything i was suppose to do without any fear.
today i went to sears to buy a new stove and microwave. i told the salesman i wanted something without too many dials and didn't want any fancy features.. in 10 minutes my purchase was made.
tomorrow the company i called to assess the damages, arrives to clean up everything.so all is well that ends well.
i do have a suggestion for all of you.. first, always keep a fire extinguisher in your house. something i didn't do.
and more importantly, when you go to buy a new appliance at sears, make sure you haven't taken a laxative the night before. 10 minutes to purchase the damn stove.. 25 minutes in the toilet !
be back soon.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
HOLLYWEIRD
i love award shows. shoot me.. i'm an award show freak.. i love the fashions on the women, the glamour.. with some luck, someone will look like shit or be drunk or say something crazy.
it also delights me to see how hollywood honors themselves for just about anything.. they're the best or the greatest. they have awards for just about anything. it's narcissism at its finest.
last night i watched the Screen Actors Guild Awards which is so much like the Foreign Press Awards except the SAG awards are given by the industry to honor their own actors and actresses.. the Foreign Press awards are given by crazy assed foreigners who can be bought for a watch or a dinner.. it has little or no credibility but alas, they give out awards and the winners are thrilled and so am i.
last night sandra bullock was given an award as best actress in a movie.. god has a sense of humor.. she won the award over meryl streep. LORD HAVE MERCY !
then there was George Clooney.. i know everyone loves George.. I DON'T.. i didn't like him when he was on ER and i like him less as a movie star and he is a bonafide movie star. how that happens, i dunno..
i'm getting older and crankier i see.. most of the stars i don't even know and those i do know, are getting older and i wonder who their plastic surgeons are. NOBODY over 60 looks their age. sophia loren is 75. frankly she looks like crap to me but she doesn't look 75.
another thing that bothered me was the movie NINE.. i saw the show on broadway that starred my boyfriend Antonio banderas, who brought a sensuality to that part unlike anyone i've seen. so hollywood in its infinite brilliance, cast Daniel Day Lewis who has zero sensuality and the movie bombed. i'd like to know what the fuck they were thinking.
i'm still jet lagged. i should go back to sleep..
be back soon
it also delights me to see how hollywood honors themselves for just about anything.. they're the best or the greatest. they have awards for just about anything. it's narcissism at its finest.
last night i watched the Screen Actors Guild Awards which is so much like the Foreign Press Awards except the SAG awards are given by the industry to honor their own actors and actresses.. the Foreign Press awards are given by crazy assed foreigners who can be bought for a watch or a dinner.. it has little or no credibility but alas, they give out awards and the winners are thrilled and so am i.
last night sandra bullock was given an award as best actress in a movie.. god has a sense of humor.. she won the award over meryl streep. LORD HAVE MERCY !
then there was George Clooney.. i know everyone loves George.. I DON'T.. i didn't like him when he was on ER and i like him less as a movie star and he is a bonafide movie star. how that happens, i dunno..
i'm getting older and crankier i see.. most of the stars i don't even know and those i do know, are getting older and i wonder who their plastic surgeons are. NOBODY over 60 looks their age. sophia loren is 75. frankly she looks like crap to me but she doesn't look 75.
another thing that bothered me was the movie NINE.. i saw the show on broadway that starred my boyfriend Antonio banderas, who brought a sensuality to that part unlike anyone i've seen. so hollywood in its infinite brilliance, cast Daniel Day Lewis who has zero sensuality and the movie bombed. i'd like to know what the fuck they were thinking.
i'm still jet lagged. i should go back to sleep..
be back soon
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
ANDERSON COOPER
i'm going to write about someone i've never met and know nothing about. Anderson Cooper.
anderson was born into vast wealth.. could have sat on his ass and done nothing of value as many trust fund babies do .. instead he chose to be a newsman/reporter. he's become much more than that. he's become a humanitarian. the show that he hosts every year called HEROES should include him.
his work in haiti, helping the injured has touched my heart very deeply. I don't believe he does it for photo-ops but his heart seems to be in the right place.. he himself has seen the dark side of life.. his father died when he was a young boy and his brother jumped to his death. he was born with a tarnished silver spoon and unlike most, has turned it into gold.
i've met many celebrated people and most often i am disappointed when i meet them. they can't live up to their public persona. some of the sweetest people on the screen turn out to be the biggest jerks in real life..
my point is if Anderson is a big jerk in life, there's no sign of it.
he appears to be a kind, caring, compassionate man. i hope he is just that.
he's my hero and should be recognized as one.
anderson was born into vast wealth.. could have sat on his ass and done nothing of value as many trust fund babies do .. instead he chose to be a newsman/reporter. he's become much more than that. he's become a humanitarian. the show that he hosts every year called HEROES should include him.
his work in haiti, helping the injured has touched my heart very deeply. I don't believe he does it for photo-ops but his heart seems to be in the right place.. he himself has seen the dark side of life.. his father died when he was a young boy and his brother jumped to his death. he was born with a tarnished silver spoon and unlike most, has turned it into gold.
i've met many celebrated people and most often i am disappointed when i meet them. they can't live up to their public persona. some of the sweetest people on the screen turn out to be the biggest jerks in real life..
my point is if Anderson is a big jerk in life, there's no sign of it.
he appears to be a kind, caring, compassionate man. i hope he is just that.
he's my hero and should be recognized as one.
Monday, January 18, 2010
MY FEET
haven't heard from me for a while have you?.. i've been in maui with some old friends and just having one helleva time.each and everyone has a distinctive personality and we all meshed which is a miracle.
now its time for me to return to civilization. i'm going to miss maui terribly. its a place of healing of the soul. we all felt it but didn't have the words to describe how we were feeling. we all said maui was special but language seemed to escape us.
now its the time to ready myself for the airport experience. i have issues with the airport that some might not think about but because i'm a little bit of a germaphobe, this sits heavily on my mind.
you are asked to remove your shoes when you're going through security. you end up stepping on the filthy dirty floor barefoot. there are those toilet seats where you press a button and a new protective plastic appears. i want them to do that at the airport. maybe this could be my new invention.
i consistently refuse to remove my shoes and the security people tell me i have to be wanded.. wand me i tell them but my bare feet will not touch the floor.
so instead of focusing on the wonderful time i had in maui, i'm obsessing about a schmutik floor at the airport.
dr. baker, expect a call from me.. ! (he's my shrink for those who don't know)
now its time for me to return to civilization. i'm going to miss maui terribly. its a place of healing of the soul. we all felt it but didn't have the words to describe how we were feeling. we all said maui was special but language seemed to escape us.
now its the time to ready myself for the airport experience. i have issues with the airport that some might not think about but because i'm a little bit of a germaphobe, this sits heavily on my mind.
you are asked to remove your shoes when you're going through security. you end up stepping on the filthy dirty floor barefoot. there are those toilet seats where you press a button and a new protective plastic appears. i want them to do that at the airport. maybe this could be my new invention.
i consistently refuse to remove my shoes and the security people tell me i have to be wanded.. wand me i tell them but my bare feet will not touch the floor.
so instead of focusing on the wonderful time i had in maui, i'm obsessing about a schmutik floor at the airport.
dr. baker, expect a call from me.. ! (he's my shrink for those who don't know)
Thursday, January 7, 2010
I HATE THE HEAT WITH A HOT HATE
as you know by now, i'm in maui.. this place is not condusive to write or do anything other than vegging. lots of sun, lots of swimming, lots of talking.
i'm here with four friends. everyone is so different from one another that it makes it very interesting. and as you all know, i'm FASCINATING (if you make a nasty comment, i'll hurt you) we are all getting along great and having one hell of a good time.
but. oh my god, i hate those buts !
i pulled a muscle in my back getting up on a massage table . i think that by itself is ironic. my LADIES IN WAITING, which i now call my group, have been taking care of me and making sure i don't do too much, which if you know me, they had nothing to worry about.
i was told by a friend of mine, who is a physical therapist, that i should use heat and ice on my back and alternate them. one of my LADIES IN WAITING went to Walgreens to buy me what is the top of the line heating pad. i have a heating pad at home that says hi, med. low. off.. but oh not this top of the line pad.. written ON the pad itself are the following warnings. i am copying this word for word.
DANGER:
BURNS WILL RESULT FROM IMPROPER USE.. TO REDUCE THE RISK OF BURNS, ELECTRIC SHOCK, FIRE AND ACCIDENT, THIS PRODUCT MUST BE USED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS.
1. DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.. DO NOT USE ON AN INFANT AND DO NOT DRY CLEAN
2. NEVER USE PINS OR OTHER METALLIC MEANS TO FASTEN THIS PAD IN PLACE.
3. BURNS MAY OCCUR REGARDLESS OF CONTROL SETTING, CHECK THE SKIN UNDER THE PAD FRQUENTLY TO AVOID BURNING AND BLISTERING.
4. DO NOT SIT ON, OR AGAINST OR CRUSH THE PAD. AVOID SHARP FOLDS.
5. THIS PAD IS NOT TO BE USED BY OR ON ANY INVALID/SLEEPING OR UNCONSIOUS PERSON. A PERSON WITH POOR CIRCULATION, A PARALYZED PERSON OR A PERSON WITH DIABETES.
i have never been as intimidated by a heating pad than i am with this one. the dangers facing me seem to be bigger than a volcano erupting or a tsunami.
my LADIES IN WAITING just left the house to go shopping for trinkets to bring home. i passed on this since i've done that last time i was here.. but.... now that no-one is here to oversee my heating pad use. i'm using ice.
i was once agoraphobic. in fact i was agoraphobic for 11 years.. i had a fear of everything.. now i just have a fear of WALGREENS HEATING PAD..!!.. PROGRESS .
be back later
i'm here with four friends. everyone is so different from one another that it makes it very interesting. and as you all know, i'm FASCINATING (if you make a nasty comment, i'll hurt you) we are all getting along great and having one hell of a good time.
but. oh my god, i hate those buts !
i pulled a muscle in my back getting up on a massage table . i think that by itself is ironic. my LADIES IN WAITING, which i now call my group, have been taking care of me and making sure i don't do too much, which if you know me, they had nothing to worry about.
i was told by a friend of mine, who is a physical therapist, that i should use heat and ice on my back and alternate them. one of my LADIES IN WAITING went to Walgreens to buy me what is the top of the line heating pad. i have a heating pad at home that says hi, med. low. off.. but oh not this top of the line pad.. written ON the pad itself are the following warnings. i am copying this word for word.
DANGER:
BURNS WILL RESULT FROM IMPROPER USE.. TO REDUCE THE RISK OF BURNS, ELECTRIC SHOCK, FIRE AND ACCIDENT, THIS PRODUCT MUST BE USED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS.
1. DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.. DO NOT USE ON AN INFANT AND DO NOT DRY CLEAN
2. NEVER USE PINS OR OTHER METALLIC MEANS TO FASTEN THIS PAD IN PLACE.
3. BURNS MAY OCCUR REGARDLESS OF CONTROL SETTING, CHECK THE SKIN UNDER THE PAD FRQUENTLY TO AVOID BURNING AND BLISTERING.
4. DO NOT SIT ON, OR AGAINST OR CRUSH THE PAD. AVOID SHARP FOLDS.
5. THIS PAD IS NOT TO BE USED BY OR ON ANY INVALID/SLEEPING OR UNCONSIOUS PERSON. A PERSON WITH POOR CIRCULATION, A PARALYZED PERSON OR A PERSON WITH DIABETES.
i have never been as intimidated by a heating pad than i am with this one. the dangers facing me seem to be bigger than a volcano erupting or a tsunami.
my LADIES IN WAITING just left the house to go shopping for trinkets to bring home. i passed on this since i've done that last time i was here.. but.... now that no-one is here to oversee my heating pad use. i'm using ice.
i was once agoraphobic. in fact i was agoraphobic for 11 years.. i had a fear of everything.. now i just have a fear of WALGREENS HEATING PAD..!!.. PROGRESS .
be back later
Saturday, January 2, 2010
CONFIDENCE
i had a very interesting conversation with myself today. i'm here in maui by myself and i just let my mind roam. it occured to me that i'm very self confident and wondered where it came from.. nobody in my family is confident.. my generation that is.
i went back to my childhood, which was very difficult and recall i was a quiet, shy little girl who seldom spoke and i can't recall ever not feeling scared. as a teenager i pretended to be self confident which i pulled off well because i was physically mature for my age and used foul language as often as possible and i smoked. i probably looked confident to others but i never felt secure or protected. i do recall one incidence which has stayed with me my entire life and i think this was a life altering experience for me as silly as it might sound.
i went food shopping with my beloved aunt pat and i was schlepping her shopping cart and at some point she stopped walking and turned to me and said..YOU DRAG THAT SHOPPING CART BETTER THAN ANYONE I'VE EVER SEEN.. can you imagine that i still remember that.. i remember feeling, smart and so very compentent.. that may have been the beginning for me.
when i got married i felt competent cause i knew how to do laundry and clean a house better than anyone my age. i was only 19 ! yikes.. i had a sick mother so if i didn't do these chores as a kid it just wouldn't get done. i recall my mother in law saying to me your whites aren't as white as they should be. i remember turning to her, indignently and saying.. listen my dear, there is no one who can do laundry better than me ! i felt confident and competent then also.. i look back and wonder if i was sane getting pissed at laundry. i believe from those two incidents that i mentioned that my feeling of confidence was born.. two simple incidences.
when i went into business when i was in my late forties, i went to meetings with ceo's, creative heads of companies, etc and my cousin asked me if i was nervous going into these meetings. i looked at her like she had two heads. i said, they're just people with regular lives who still make doody like we do. i said, they have more to fear with me than me with them. i have no idea why i said that.
i became very successful in my business and never once was intimidated by anyone. thats a lie. there was a young woman, named jocelyn who was short and insignifigant and she scared me i think cause she also thought she was confident. how ridiculous was that.. we eventually became friends after doing many jobs together and truth is, she wasn"t as confident as i suspected.
so the question remains, did schlepping that shopping cart become the catalyst for me thinking well of myself?????????????? it's a mystery.
i would like to reveal, that when it comes to technology, i feel like a moron. i have a computer and can do a few things with it.. i have a cell phone that scares me when it rings and wireless to me is like STARWARS. i have been asked many times if i have a router and i pause and say. am i supposed to???????
be back soon
i went back to my childhood, which was very difficult and recall i was a quiet, shy little girl who seldom spoke and i can't recall ever not feeling scared. as a teenager i pretended to be self confident which i pulled off well because i was physically mature for my age and used foul language as often as possible and i smoked. i probably looked confident to others but i never felt secure or protected. i do recall one incidence which has stayed with me my entire life and i think this was a life altering experience for me as silly as it might sound.
i went food shopping with my beloved aunt pat and i was schlepping her shopping cart and at some point she stopped walking and turned to me and said..YOU DRAG THAT SHOPPING CART BETTER THAN ANYONE I'VE EVER SEEN.. can you imagine that i still remember that.. i remember feeling, smart and so very compentent.. that may have been the beginning for me.
when i got married i felt competent cause i knew how to do laundry and clean a house better than anyone my age. i was only 19 ! yikes.. i had a sick mother so if i didn't do these chores as a kid it just wouldn't get done. i recall my mother in law saying to me your whites aren't as white as they should be. i remember turning to her, indignently and saying.. listen my dear, there is no one who can do laundry better than me ! i felt confident and competent then also.. i look back and wonder if i was sane getting pissed at laundry. i believe from those two incidents that i mentioned that my feeling of confidence was born.. two simple incidences.
when i went into business when i was in my late forties, i went to meetings with ceo's, creative heads of companies, etc and my cousin asked me if i was nervous going into these meetings. i looked at her like she had two heads. i said, they're just people with regular lives who still make doody like we do. i said, they have more to fear with me than me with them. i have no idea why i said that.
i became very successful in my business and never once was intimidated by anyone. thats a lie. there was a young woman, named jocelyn who was short and insignifigant and she scared me i think cause she also thought she was confident. how ridiculous was that.. we eventually became friends after doing many jobs together and truth is, she wasn"t as confident as i suspected.
so the question remains, did schlepping that shopping cart become the catalyst for me thinking well of myself?????????????? it's a mystery.
i would like to reveal, that when it comes to technology, i feel like a moron. i have a computer and can do a few things with it.. i have a cell phone that scares me when it rings and wireless to me is like STARWARS. i have been asked many times if i have a router and i pause and say. am i supposed to???????
be back soon
COCKILS AND MUSCLES
i had such a glorious day today. nobody is here but me.. i went to the market, got some food, came back to the house and went into the pool for an hour doing water aerobics.. then my accupuncturist arrived.. shes also my masseuse.. i had two hours of treatment and felt like a million bucks.
i went to get off the massage table and felt a pull in my back. oh yes, a pulled muscle.. i didn't say anything to the masseuse cause it didn't seem that bad. oh boy was i wrong. its 8 pm hawaii time and i'm in agony.. i called the masseuse to come over NOW and alas, her machine answered.
luckily i bought my TENS MACHINE with me as i mentioned in one of my earlier posts. the Tens Machine is an electro stimulation machine. very small but very effective.. its battery operated and guess what? I FORGOT TO BRING BATTERIES !
so here i am.. in paradise, in agony. i wish i had packed bengay.. the one damn thing i forgot.
this is neither funny or interesting or informative but i like to burden you all with my travails..
be back soon
i went to get off the massage table and felt a pull in my back. oh yes, a pulled muscle.. i didn't say anything to the masseuse cause it didn't seem that bad. oh boy was i wrong. its 8 pm hawaii time and i'm in agony.. i called the masseuse to come over NOW and alas, her machine answered.
luckily i bought my TENS MACHINE with me as i mentioned in one of my earlier posts. the Tens Machine is an electro stimulation machine. very small but very effective.. its battery operated and guess what? I FORGOT TO BRING BATTERIES !
so here i am.. in paradise, in agony. i wish i had packed bengay.. the one damn thing i forgot.
this is neither funny or interesting or informative but i like to burden you all with my travails..
be back soon
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