THE SHAMMYS

i watched the grammys last night and lord help me, i hardly knew anyone..

who the heck is zack brown, maxwell and what the heck is a lady gaga?


years ago i met beyonce.. she must have been 20 years old. she was beautiful but didn't seem like anyone special to me. i have a knack for not knowing talent.. her career has been amazing and she seems as sweet as sugar to me..

then there's taylor swift.. i'm sure kids love her but to me shes a geeky kid and i can't figure out how she won anything let alone album of the year.

then there are groups. how do they get their names? blacked eyed peas, green day , kings of leon.. a story i recall is when i was in london iwas invited to lunch with chris martin and his wife.. he was totally adorable and charming but i was sure the name of his band was green day.. it was days later when i learned he was coldplay.. what idiotic names.

years ago, i had dinner with linda and paul mccartny, a beatle.. i never got that either.. why didn't they called the band the fab four or something that made sense. but being a beatle didn't hurt his career.i remember feeling like i should asked him why the beatles but i thought better of it.. after all, he was an icon. by the way, i never liked the beatles.. shoot me !

at the table that evening was a woman named chrissy hines. i had never heard of her either. my friend kicked me under the table when i asked what she did for a living.. she was part of a group called the pretenders. honest to god, i still haven't heard of that group and yet if i mention her name people go wild.

now that i'm dropping names like flies, i'll tell you about a dinner party i went to at mick fleetwoods home.. now some of you might know that name.. i suspect most of you know that name.. i had never heard of that man. did i know fleetwood mac? well, not really.. i spent the evening with him talking about the beginning days of fleetwood mac. he talked on and on about lindsay and stevie. i never asked a question since i didn't know who lindsay or stevie were. i later learned that stevie was a woman. stevie nicks to be exact.. someone i also never heard about. i'm an embarrassment to myself. last night stevie sang a duet with taylor swift and somebody was singing off key.. beats me if i know which one.

since i'm dropping names, i'm going the whole nine yards. i was at frank sinatras 80 birthday party.. it was at the kodack theater in los angeles. frank was out of it by then and i'm sure he had no idea where he was.. that evening i saw vic damone who i always thought his name was victor moan.. there were steve and edyie, tony bennet, salt and pepper..(whatever happened to them)and ms. patti la belle.. another fabulous singer.the list goes on and on with the best singers ever.

now, we must discuss pink.. i know its probably considered art to do what she did. i thought it was ridiculous. a singer sings.. you don't have to hang from the ceiling wet to sing a song.

they all should take a lesson from barbra streisand.. she sings.. she sings.. she stands in front of a mike and just sings..and shes the greatest singer of the last 40 years.. she must be doing something right.

this is what getting older feels like for those who enjoyed the grammys.. i'm disgusted.

be back soon.